Super Derpoes
by FieryFafar
Summary: Random stories about the Pokemon kids being superheroes.


_1. Green as Iron Man_

"Green, we have an emergency in Precinct 8. We need you on the premises stat!" Oak Fury spoke through the giant screen. His eyes widened to see the suave brunette standing idly and releasing a heavy groan. "What is the matter with you?"

Hand twisting the comb, Green lazily responded, "I was busy combing my hair while looking at the giant monitor. It has better reflection than my mirror/wall down the hall. You know mirrors right? The one that you use to see yourself?" He looked at the gawking S.H.I.E.L.D. leader. With a small smirk flashing on Green's lips, he slyly added, "But then again, judging by your not-so handsome face, I'm guessing you don't even know own a mirror."

The one-eyed man gawked in utter disbelief. Green showed no guilt and just flashed a sneaky smirk. Oak Fury's body trembled angrily, but he inhaled and exhaled a few times, trying to calm himself down from the young man's snarky personality. "Just get your pretty boy ass here!" Before Green could reply, Oak Fury disconnected their call.

Knowing that he had taunted the man – once again – Green breathed an arrogant chuckle. Hands proudly fixing his hair and eyes never averting away from the giant screen, Green shouted, "Miss Leaf Potts! Be my sweet little assistant and get my super suit! Oh and bring some doughnuts too! I'm gonna be hungry on the way!"

_2. Gold as Spiderman_

Crystal focused her attention on the homework in front of her. Teeth lightly chewing her lower lip, the bluenette squinted her eyes to make-do with the question.

Suddenly, _Tap, tap, tap._

The girl turned, confused with the sound emanating from outside. Her blue eyes blinked dumbly at the window. There was nothing; only darkness and some Hoothoots. Shrugging it off, she retrieved her focus back on her homework.

_Tap, tap, tap._

There it was again; the tapping sound. Crystal gazed upon the window once more. A low, annoyed grunt blew through her lips. _What the hell could be making that noise?_ Pushing herself off the chair, Crystal decided to investigate. She slid the window up. Taking no time to waste, Crystal stuck her head out. Head turning left; she saw nothing. Head turning right; she saw nothing.

"Hey baby."

A sudden – very close – sound made her face look forward. Blue eyes widened in shock to see a boy – dangling upside-down – in front of her. "AHH!" Crystal screamed in horror, body falling backwards until her bum kissed the carpeted floor.

Gold laughed amusingly. His body was still cladded in his tight costume. Only his mask was absent, instead tucked away in his backpack. With slick movement, he easily invited himself in. His feet landed with ease, mouth still snickering to see his girlfriend's reaction.

Crystal, however, wasn't a bit amused. "Gold! Stop scaring me!"

The dark brunette laughed louder. "Sorry, Little Miss Serious." Gold stretched his right arm in front of her, gesturing to lift the girl back on her feet.

With a scoff, Crystal took his hand.

With a chuckle, Gold pulled her and wrapped the petite waist in his strong arms.

"G-Gold!" Crystal sputtered out of panic, face heated in red. But the boy merely flashed a sexy smirk. Resting his forehead on hers, Gold naughtily murmured, "What? Can't I pay my beautiful and not to mention genius girlfriend a visit?"

Her heart raced in seconds. His touch made her skin tingle in excitement. The sight of his lustful gleaming golden eyes made her gulp heavily.

Face now completely flushed in crimson red, Crystal bashfully shouted, "G-Gold! We have school tomorrow, you pervert!"

_3. Wally as The Hulk_

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go Hulk and almost crushed your skull into unquestionable pieces. I am very sorry." Wally apologized for the hundredth time. His shirt was shredded in pieces, showing a very frail and thin torso. His pants were torn yet still wearable. His green hair was a bushy mess. The boy bowed again, hands cupping near his knees.

Even with the numerous apologizes, the Magma grunt sat there; completely stunned and in bafflement. His body still trembled horribly. His eyes were round in utter terror. His Magma uniform was nothing but dirt and torn bits. Sweat soaked every inch of his skin.

"I'll leave now. Try not to steal my Pokémon – or anybody's Pokémon for that matter – again, okay?" With a turn of his heel, Wally walked away. Gardevoir, who waited loyally behind her trainer, gave a small bow and happily floated beside Wally.

Minutes had passed and the Magma grunt still sat there like a dumfounded rock. He gazed on his surroundings. Huge holes were formed on the hard ground. Giant boulders were cracked into two. Even a few specs of dust were still present and seen floating about. _What…_ Words slowly entered his mangled mind, _just happened?!_

4. Jun as The Flash

"Look Hikari! I can run fast woohoo!" Jun cheered as he circled around his childhood friend. Harsh wind was blown through both their hairs.

"Jun, staring at you running around like that is making me hungry." Hikari groaned slowly. She held her throbbing temple. The boy had been sprinting around her for the thousandth time – in less than minutes.

Suddenly, her mind halted as she felt herself being lifted. "J-Jun!" Hikari stared at him, eyes wide in bafflement. But Jun returned her shocked reaction with a childish grin.

"You're hungry, right? I feel like eating some fresh Tauros steak." Jun happily said as he swayed the small body in his arms. With puffy cheeks, he excitingly added, "And I just know the most awesome place to the eat the most juiciest steak in the planet; Olivine City!"

That startled her shut. She wasn't deaf; she heard him right. _But we're in Twinleaf Town! How do you expect us to go to-_

Before she could finish her thoughts, Jun cheerfully screamed, "TO JOHTO!" Without time to spare, he dashed like lightning with a screaming Hikari in his arms.

"_JUUUUUNNNN!_"

_5. White as __Black__ White Widow_

"I got the chip. I'm on my way back." White spoke through her Xtransceiver. Her other hand held the tiny chip. Her lips formed a straight line, preferably bored that she had no challenge defeating the enemies in this mission.

"Excellent work, Agent White," Agent Black commented on the quick completion of her mission. He gave her a thumbs-up, a smile forming his boyish face. "See you back at HQ then."

With a lazy nod, White disconnected the call. The chip snugged in her pocket, she walked towards the exit.

Suddenly, as she proceeded and without her notice, a man cladded in black sneaked up behind her. He crouched and crept slowly, closing the distance between them. A knife was tightly gripped in his right hand. A sinister grin was formed on the bastard's lips. _You're dead now, you little bitch!_ Knife lifting higher, he poised for the attack.

And in a blink of an eye, the knife was lowered.

But before it could graze White, "I thought I told you to play dead." The brunette slid one foot forward and did a backflip, thus nimbly and easily dodging the stab. Her body spun a 360 degree spin. With precise aim, White landed her feet on the stunned man's shoulders. Before he could look up, the girl tightened her feet between his head in a clutching death lock.

And once again, before he could react properly, White spun her body like an elegant but deadly ballerina. As a result,

_CRACK!_ It snapped the enemy's neck like a little twig.

The dead man fell forward and White quickly jumped off him. His eyes were wide and empty. His mouth gaped widely, trickles of blood oozing down the edge of his lips.

The vicious former assassin breathed a disgusted snort. "I warned you," she spat with irk, once again ridiculing at how easy her mission was.

Either that or she was just too good.

Giving a short yet arrogant scoff, White casually walked out of the lair.

_6. Silver as __Zu__Batman_

"Ugh… I hate everyone." Silver grumbled sourly as he stood on the edge of the tall building. His silver eyes stared at the city in such boredom and disgust. The dark knight exhaled another silent scoff, thoughts still pondering on why he was still caring for the city when people only saw him as a vigilante.

After minutes of lost in thought, Silver let out another hiss – along with grumbles from his empty stomach. Hand lightly tapping his stomach, the redhead curiously mused, "Maybe I'll think about my dilemma some more during dinner. I wonder what Alfred is making tonight." With a lazy yawn, Silver swooshed his black cape and jumped off the building.

_7. Kotone as Catwoman_

"Come on, baby. Don't be such a sourpuss." Kotone purred lovingly as she sat on his lap. Her right arm was coiled around the back of his neck. She swayed her legs to his left. The girl had her outfit on, a single golden claw lightly scratching the obviously bored boy's chin.

Even with all the temptation by her, Silver wasn't a least bit aroused nor amused. The minute he came home, it both startled and annoyed him to see the least person he wanted to see right now. And it didn't help at the fact that no matter how many times he built or installed new and stronger security systems, the foxy brunette would always find a way to barge into his home like it was hers.

"You're so cute when you don't smile though. But a little smile doesn't hurt, you know?" She mewled softly, head softly nuzzling his cheek like a baby Meowth.

It was supposed to be a peaceful dinner. One he was supposed to have _alone._ "Kotone, get off my lap and get out of my house."

But no matter how harsh or scary his voice was, Kotone wasn't a bit scared or thrown off. "Oh you little Grumpy Pants you!" Squealing, the girl hugged his neck and purred louder.

The longer she stayed, he more irritated he got. Suddenly, his silver eyes were glued to her neck. "And stop stealing my mama's pearls DAMN YOU WOMAN!"

_8. N as Thor_

"MIDGARDIANS! I AM N FROM UNOVIAN!" N proudly boasted as he held his waist. His green hair flapped majestically by the soft breeze. He flaunted his torso with pride, nostrils expanding and deflating as he breathed heavily. His body was suited in heavy armour. A Mjolnir was held in his right grip, proving the appearance of a true warrior.

But even with the somewhat breath-taking appearance, White was too busy being baffled to be smitten. "Right…" She finally broke the awkward silence. Shaking her head, the brunette coughed lightly and wiped the dust off her shoulder. "I am Agent White from S.H.I.E.L.D. if you have ceased screaming-"

"WHY ARE YOU MIDGARDIANS SO TINY AND FRAIL? HAVE YOU NOT EATEN?" N cut her off with such an odd yet rude question, completely oblivious at his choice of words.

White froze as N seemed to have – though unintentionally – mocked her. Mouth forming a snarl, White threatened, "Why you little-"

Once again, she was cut off. "OOOO A RARE POKEMON FROM YOUR PLANET!" The tall boy screamed in joy as his eyes set on a sleeping Blitzle. Without a thought, N dashed towards the Electrified Pokémon.

It was as if she wasn't stunned enough, White was now completely bewildered. Not only did he dropped from the sky out of nowhere, was dressed like he was in a child's play, ridiculed her about her small body, and not to mention literally screaming like she was deaf to the bone, but now N was completely ignoring her over a sleeping Pokémon.

That, and the thought that he wasn't a least bit afraid of her.

Her hands rolled into fists. Her teeth ground so heavily that if she did it long enough, electrical sparks could happen any minute. _Nobody ignores me!_ "Excuse me! I'm talking to you!" White watched frustratingly as N – being ignorant – picked up the now awake and baffled Blitzle, jumped in joy, and happily screamed, "ANOTHER!"

_9. Red as Captain __America__ Kanto_

_Where…am I…?_ That was the only thought that clouded his mind as Red gazed upon his strange surrounding. From where he was standing, it was as if he had landed in a hostile alien planet. Blinding huge lights and giant screens were everywhere. Thousands of people were walking and crowding in, eyes mostly focused on the odd boy. The streets were nothing like where he once lived. Red frantically turned left and right, thoughts still jumbled on his bizarre destination.

Just as he woke up from a deep slumber in Mt Silver, Red was at lost and in confusion on what the hell was happening around him.

"Yo."

A single call brought his attention. Red looked forward, red eyes seeing nothing but hundreds of police cars and policemen. But one of them stood out from all the rest. This specific person was wearing a somewhat brown metal and obviously high-tech suit. Red saw the mysterious person snapped his fingers. In seconds, the metal mask slid up, revealing the face of another, and apparently grinning, boy.

"Who…" Red asked dumbfoundedly, feet still not moving from his exact spot.

Green could only chuckle at the stupidly bewildered expression Red was giving. _I can't believe this is the legendary trainer my dad used to talk about._ Though mind doubted silently, he wasn't going to say that out loud. Eyes back on the quiet figure, Green stretched his arms and happily welcomed, "Good morning, sunshine. I hope you had a good night's rest. Coz starting today, it's gonna get a whole lot more interesting from when you came from."

As if his snarky personality wasn't bizarre enough, Green's strange form of words had just shut Red's brain. "I… What?"

_10. Hyu as The __Hyuulk__ Hulk_

They had the whole place surrounded. It was three against 10. All bets were off. All odds were in their favour. A female Plasma grunt sat idly against her Seviper, eyes twinkling in coy to see her enemies trapped like Rattatas.

Mei cussed annoyingly. Cheren stared at their enemies in bored irritation. While Hyu, who was standing quietly behind his childhood friend, tightly gripped the collar of his jacket and released a heavy growl.

"Hey, heads up…" She heard Hyu spoke, voice sounding ragged and heavy. Mei didn't turn to face him, instead responding with a single nod.

Hyu closed his eyes and hid his mouth inside the huge collar. He inhaled, then exhaled. He inhaled again, then exhaled again. He continued to repeat the motion until his heart began to race in lightning speed.

Finally, he opened his eyes, red eyes replaced with deadly green orbs. "I'm about-" In a blink of an eye, his body grew larger until his shirt and jacket were ripped off him. His pants were shredded as well, yet still clinging to his waist. His skin immediately turned green, heavy muscles forming on every inch of his body. "-TO UNLEASH MY RAAAAGE!"

All were stunned to see the sudden monster, even Cheren. Only Mei didn't look surprise, for she had seen him in this state for many times. Giving off a savage roar, the now monstrous Hyu stomped towards his enemies.

"What the…" The young gym leader could only gawk like a fool.

While for Mei, "Not again…"

_**END.**_


End file.
